It's amazing how much can change in a year. A year ago, I was just getting used to being a mom. Let me tell you, it's been a journey. Between the sleepless nights, the lack of self-care, and trying to finish my clinical, all while trying to work part-time was exhausting. I still remember wondering how I would get through the day with my sanity intact. At the end of the day, the Lord was always watching over me. As I struggled, I would always talk to God. This would always lift my spirits. Just knowing that He would get me through to the finish line made it all worth it. I remember failing my exit exam by 1 point; it almost destroyed me. Before my redo, I spoke to God. I asked Him for guidance. I didn't think that I could do it because I barely had time to study, but with God and one of my husband's pep talks, I went in there and tried my best. This time, I passed. All I could do was thank God. Through all of the obstacles in front of me, I graduated with my masters in Clinical Mental Health Counseling.
While many would be thrilled to enter their dream career, I was not. Don't get me wrong, I love helping people. But deep down, I felt that God had other plans for me. Even while working part-time, all I wanted to do was be home with my little girl. When I first enrolled in grad school, all I wanted was to be a therapist. But after the birth of our daughter, nothing gave me more joy than being a mother. Motherhood has changed me in ways I would have never imagined. For one thing, I can multitask like no one's business (as I write this, she is laying in my arm). Being a mom has also made me appreciate the little things in life, like being able to read. Most importantly, I learned that even when I don't have any time to myself, there's always time to talk to God. Even when something is bothering me, I find peace in knowing that I can talk and be honest with Him. He knows my daily struggles and He gives me the strength to overcome any obstacle.
Since I am writing this during Mental Health Awareness Month, I just would like to share that postpartum depression is real. While pregnant, I wondered how a mother could become depressed when she has this beautiful blessing in front of her. I found the answer for myself a year ago, which is why it is important to put all of your troubles, fears and anxieties in God's hands. I can honestly say that that has made the most difference. If you're a mother who feels like she is alone in feeling this way, I want to tell you that you're not alone. In fact, most mothers go through postpartum depression. Believe it or not, it can last as long as 3 years! You know what? That's okay because we have a mighty and gracious God that doesn't give us more than we can handle.
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."- Matthew 11:28