Lead by Example: Training Our Children Through What They See

As Christian parents, we have a responsibility to consider not only what we teach our children but also what they see us doing.

Children learn by watching us. The choices we make—what we eat, what we watch, how we speak, and how we respond to the challenges of everyday life—can all become examples they carry with them.

Sometimes, leading by example is easier said than done. None of us are perfect, and I am the first to admit that I have areas where I struggle.

But that doesn't mean we give up. Instead, we can recognize the opportunities we have each day to make choices that point our children toward what is good, healthy, and pleasing to God.

Training Goes Beyond What We Say

Proverbs 22:6 reminds us of the importance of training our children in the right way.

Training isn't limited to sitting down and telling our children what they should or shouldn't do. Much of that training happens through everyday life.

Our children watch how we treat people. They hear the words we use. They see how we respond when we're frustrated. They notice what we spend our time doing and what we allow into our homes.

That means our example matters.

If we want our children to develop good habits, we should also be willing to examine our own habits.

What Are We Putting Before Our Children?

Even something as simple as food can become an opportunity to lead by example.

When my daughter was younger and her teeth were coming in, I found myself thinking more about my own eating habits. I wanted to make healthy choices for her, but I also had to consider what she would see me eating.

I didn't want to tell her to make healthy choices while regularly reaching for things I wouldn't want her eating.

That experience made me take a closer look at my own choices and reminded me that children learn not only from what we tell them, but also from what they see us do.

That realization encouraged me to look more closely at my own choices.

The same principle applies to many other areas of life.

What Are Our Children Watching?

Entertainment is another area where we can choose to be intentional about what we allow into our homes.

Jesus said that if we want to be His disciples, we must deny ourselves, take up our cross, and follow Him (Luke 9:23). For me, following Christ has meant being willing to give up things I once enjoyed when I believe they could bring something harmful into my home.

One of those things was worldly programming. I used to enjoy watching talk shows and dramas, but I eventually realized that I didn't want that kind of content influencing what my daughter heard or saw. So I made the decision to let it go, which was not easy.

It was a sacrifice, but following Jesus means that sometimes we have to surrender things we love in order to pursue what is pleasing to Him. Today, I choose Christian programming and content that is appropriate for children because I want to be intentional about what I allow into my home.

For me, this isn't about being perfect or believing that every Christian family must make exactly the same choices. It's about asking myself whether what I allow into my home is helping me follow Christ and whether it is something I want my child to absorb.

Creating a Christ-Centered Home

Creating a Christ-centered home doesn't mean everything will be perfect. It means intentionally making choices that point our children toward Jesus.

That can include what we watch, what we listen to, what we read, the conversations we have, and the way we treat others.

It also means letting our children see us turn to God.

When we're struggling, do they see us pray?

When we've made a mistake, do they see us admit it?

When someone hurts us, do they see us respond with grace?

When we're uncertain, do they see us seek God's wisdom?

These moments can teach our children lessons that go far beyond a simple instruction.

We Don't Have to Be Perfect

Perhaps one of the most important things we can remember as parents is that leading by example doesn't mean being a perfect parent. I'll say it again, we don't have to be perfect parents.

No matter how much we strive for perfection, we will always fall short because no one is perfect except Jesus Christ. We are human, and we will make mistakes.

We will lose our patience. We will make unhealthy choices. We will say the wrong thing. We will sometimes fall short of the example we hoped to set for our children.

But our shortcomings don't mean we stop trying. Not even close. It just gives us the opportunity to dust ourselves off, humble ourselves, turn to God, and try again.

We can apologize when we're wrong. We can make a better choice the next time. We can pray for God's help. And we can show our children that following Christ doesn't mean pretending we never struggle.

It means continually turning back to Him.

I can't state this enough, but as parents, we aren't called to be perfect. We are called to follow Jesus, to grow in Him, and to teach our children to do the same. Our children don't need to see parents who never make mistakes. They need to see parents who recognize their mistakes, seek forgiveness, and keep their eyes on Christ.

Because Jesus is the perfect example—not us.

What Are We Showing Our Children?

We may not be perfect, but we have an incredible responsibility as parents. The little things we do each day can become part of the foundation we are building in our children's lives.

So perhaps one of the questions worth asking ourselves is not only, “What am I teaching my child(ren)?” but also, “What am I showing my child(ren)?”

Are they seeing us turn to Jesus when we need wisdom? Do they see us pray when we're struggling? Do they see us make changes when we realize we've been wrong? Do they see that following Christ is more important to us than holding on to the things of this world?

We won't always get it right. But by God's grace, we can keep growing, keep learning, and keep pointing our children toward Him.

Proverbs 22:6 reminds us to train our children in the way they should go. What better way to begin than by walking that path ourselves?

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