Witness Wednesday: For Such a Time as This

Welcome to the first installment of Witness Wednesday, a new Glorious Grace series where I'll share personal testimonies, lessons from my walk with Jesus, and reflections on how God works in our lives.

This week, I'm looking back at the years before I came to Christ and the experiences that shaped who I am today. What once made me feel like an outsider now has me wondering whether God was preparing me for a purpose I couldn't yet see.

Perhaps, like Esther, I was being prepared for such a time as this.

Key Scripture: Esther 4:14

“...and who knoweth whether thou art come to the kingdom for such a time as this?”

Sometimes I think about Esther, a woman who found herself in a position that she likely never imagined, facing circumstances that required tremendous courage. When Mordecai challenged her to consider whether she had come to the kingdom “for such a time as this,” he raised a question that still resonates with me today.

Could the circumstances of our lives be preparing us for something we cannot yet see? I can't help but look back at my own life and wonder something similar.

Could God have been preparing me long before I even knew Him?

For much of my life, I never really felt like I belonged. I had a small circle of people around me, but I was never someone who felt the need to blend in with everyone else. I had my own style, my own opinions, and my own way of doing things.

Sometimes that meant turning heads. Other times, it meant being mocked, even by family members, but I liked what I liked, and I wasn't going to change simply because someone else didn't approve.

I was also someone who enjoyed a good debate. If I believed something strongly enough, I was willing to defend my position, and once I'd made up my mind, changing it wasn't easy.

Stubborn might actually be an understatement.

At the time, I never imagined how those experiences and personality traits would have played a role in my future walk with Jesus.

I wasn't thinking about preparing for a life devoted to Christ. I was simply living my life, making my own decisions, and learning how to handle criticism from people who didn't always understand me.

Over the years, I developed thick skin.

I learned what it felt like to be different, to endure rejection, and to stand apart rather than change myself merely to gain someone else's approval, but I never imagined how useful those experiences might become.

Then I came to Christ, and something happened that I hadn't necessarily anticipated.

That small circle of people I'd had in my life? I lost it after finding Jesus. In some ways, I was an outsider all over again. Only this time, something was different.

My life was no longer simply about doing things my own way. I had begun learning what it meant to follow Someone whose Word must come before my own opinions, desires, and understanding, and looking back now, I see my past with a different pair of eyes.

The criticism that once hurt me had taught me that not everyone would approve of my choices. The years of feeling different had taught me that belonging wasn't always guaranteed, and my willingness to stand apart, even when others disagreed, had become something I could now examine through the lens of my faith.

Perhaps I was being prepared for such a time as this. Not because I'm someone extraordinary. Not because I have all the answers or because my faith is stronger than anyone else's, and certainly not because everything I've done or every decision I've made was right.

I'm still learning, still growing, and still discovering the areas of my life that need to be surrendered to Christ.

In fact, one of the things I'm learning is that being strong-willed isn't necessarily the same as being strong in faith.

There's a difference between refusing to change because someone disapproves of us and refusing to change because we're standing on the truth of God's Word, and there's an equally important difference between standing firm in biblical convictions and being unwilling to accept correction.

That's something God is still teaching me.

Proverbs 3:5 (KJV) says:

“Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.”

Those words remind me that following Jesus doesn't mean relying on the same determination that once guided my life. It means learning to trust Him more than I trust myself. Perhaps that's one of the most remarkable things about looking back on our lives after coming to Christ.

We may begin to recognize lessons in experiences we once wished had been different. That doesn't mean every painful experience was good or that we can always explain why something happened, but it does remind me that God can use even difficult seasons for His purposes.

When I think about Esther, I'm reminded that she couldn't see everything that lay ahead of her. She had to make a decision about what she would do with the opportunity before her, and while my circumstances are nothing like hers, the question Mordecai asked still makes me examine my own life.

What am I doing with the opportunities God has placed before me?

Am I willing to speak His truth when it's unpopular? Am I willing to remain faithful even when others disagree? And am I willing to let Him change the very parts of me that still need correcting?

I don't know everything He has planned for me. I don't know how many people my words will reach or what opportunities He may place before me, but I know whom I've chosen to follow, and if my life can encourage even just one person to stand firm in Christ when the world is telling them to compromise, then I pray I'll have the courage to be faithful with that opportunity and use it to glorify Jesus.

Perhaps the experiences that once made me feel like an outsider were preparing me for a purpose I couldn't yet see, and maybe, by God's grace, this is only the beginning.

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